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When the love bubble bursts
Meeting your Twin Flame is one of the most earth shattering life changing events that a person can encounter in their lifetime. Once you have tasted the depth of a Twin Flame connection and love, your appetite is basically ruined for anything else. Everyone that comes after the encounter with your Twin Flame seems like Mac Donalds junkfood, compared to four star chef prepared organic haute cuisine that makes the saliva rush to your mouth in pure anticipation…
And even though it certainly doesn’t look that way with your twin bedding others as they please, if truth be told – they feel the exact same way about you except they don’t dare give into that desire completely… but they will allow themselves a small taste of heaven at some point or other.
When I flew out to be with my twin in India at the end of 2015, he had strategically placed a meaningless affair between me and his heart. The night he came clean about fleeing into an affair even though he had just before he had hooked up with this other girl, pulled me closer to him, he said something interesting besides the fact that he didn’t have the deep connection with her that he felt with me. He confessed that he didn’t allow himself to love me, like he wants to love me because if he did he would certainly do something that would hurt his family such as running away with me when his family was working towards an arranged marriage for him.
We were already on the Twin Flame journey for one and a half years by that time and it had been like loving someone with a split personality, never quiet knowing if he was going to pull me close or push me away. I would tell him sometimes that I tired of his Jekyll and Hyde act. But the moments he pulled me close were like moments in heaven, pure bliss and such harmony. The moments he kept me away from him were pure hell and filled with agony, they made no sense and seemed insane compared to how good it felt when we were together. I couldn’t understand how this same man that could see my soul and love and accept every inch of me, the good, the bad an the ugly – could out of nowhere pull up a wall to keep me as far away from him as possible.
Then in those rare moments that he couldn’t keep breathing without me close, he would let me back in and show me how much I really meant to him. He would always apologize for keeping me away from him and as time progressed I learned that it had nothing to do with me. I hadn’t done or said anything wrong… It was in fact in the summer of 2015 that my twin said to me: ‘When we are together it feels so amazing, everything is as it should be when you and I are close. But when I am alone, my mind starts taking over and I get lost in my own negative thinking and I don’t see how we can ever be together for good.‘
Dealing with the 3D and 5D version of your twin
Here in lies the birth of what many (though not all) Twin Flames experience when they enter the runner and separation stage of their Twin Flame journey, the feeling that they are almost dealing with two different people.
It is much like the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde syndrome – Dr. Jekyll had created a serum to split the good and the evil side in man, but it backfired on him and his evil alter ego Mr. Hyde becomes an uncontrollable psychopath that in the end becomes stronger and stronger until suicide is the only option for Dr. Jekyll to stop Mr. Hyde, killing them both as they shared one body despite their different look of appearance.
That comparison might seem a bit of an exaggeration and I certainly don’t mean to encourage you to accept abusive behavior from your Twin Flame. Twin Flames are brutally honest with each other, they don’t lie about the big stuff. Twin Flames don’t take advantage of each other or your weak spots and Twin Flames don’t abuse each other. The worst I have ever said to my twin is that he is acting like an a*shole and he said in India ‘I hate it when you say that to me.‘ I started kissing him all over, he laughed and then said ‘I don’t hate it that much!‘ My twin has never called me names or struck out at me in any way, even when he threw me out of his life and I demanded an explanation from him he never struck out at me once. That final week in India in my hotel room he said to me one night ‘I never want things to become ugly between you and me, promise me that it never will.‘ I promised him and we both held that promise no matter how painful it was to have to let each other go when he saw no other option but to move me out of his life. There might be some slight variation in this, but generally Twin Flame connections are not colored by abuse. So don’t ever make a Twin Flame connection a reason to accept abuse, because abuse is NEVER acceptable.
The Twin Flame version of Mr. Hyde (5D)
When you look at the deeper meaning of the Jekyll and Hyde story however you will see why it makes perfect sense because a big theme in this story is protecting Dr. Jekyll’s reputation which is a very 3D endeavor. It’s all about maintaining the illusion of societal perfection and the transformation of Jeckyll into Hyde describes the conflict, that maintaining this illusion creates in man. Hyde representing all the repressed emotions and urge for freedom in man, in this scenario it is a bit sinister as the writer makes Hyde to be a violent sociopath but if we leave that macabre aspect out of our analogy you get a pretty good fit to what is going on for a runner Twin Flame.
If we take this back to the Twin Flame arena then from the twin’s point of view Mr. Hyde who actually represents the 5D in our scenario is seen as a selfish beast that must be contained by the 3D ego engrossed Dr. Jekyll who has a impeccable reputation to uphold. You might think, wait aren’t you mixing things up here? But to the twin experiencing this inner conflict all the inner longings, the urge for freedom and so on are seen as selfish and unacceptable. There is still the belief or maybe idle hope that one can sacrifice his/her own happiness and not have it affect everyone – this is 3D separation consciousness in which man thinks it is separate from the whole. While in fact self sacrifice never works because you cannot fake what is or isn’t felt in the heart and living a lie ALWAYS hurts everyone involved, because you cannot force the heart – you cannot force love. But Dr. Jekyll is still unaware of that so he suppresses all the in his eyes bestial desires of Mr. Hyde. The more Jekyll tries to suppress Hyde’s in his eyes unacceptable nature, the stronger his Hyde personality becomes and takes over – which is a desired outcome in the Twin Flame journey because it means that no matter how much the ego tries to suppress the Soul truth, the Soul truth grows stronger and stronger until it takes over and leads to the ego (death) or actually submission because the ego is not a foe, it’s just not the master.
The Twin Flame version of Dr. Jekyll (3D)
To better understand where a Twin Flame Dr. Jekyll is coming from, we need to step in the Divine Masculine’s shoes to see his (her) point of view. It comes down to the very essence of the identity of the Divine Masculine, which drives his (her) actions and that is to protect the people he (she) loves and feels responsible for. To live up to their own, their loved ones and in general societies expectations of them as a man, a father and a husband depending on where they are in life.
A strong man resists temptation and the Twin Flame is experienced as the biggest temptation since Eve handed Adam the apple, in a way it is the Divine Feminine handing the Divine Masculine the apple of the tree of knowledge of good and evil all over again because this time around she arouses him from his Soul slumber that he has been in for lifetimes and lifetimes (3D duality) to wake up to his Soul truth and out of the illusion of separation into oneness.
As Dr. Jekyll represents the ego consciousness and the old 3D paradigm you will understand, that Jekyll wants to get as far away from this woman as possible!
Add to that that many Twin Flames find themselves in situations that are deemed socially unacceptable and you will understand why so many Divine Masculines are in such inner conflict.
Let’s list some of the taboos Twin Flames encounter:
- Large age gap
- One or both married or in a committed relationship
- Unethical relationships like teacher/student, lawyer/client, doctor/patient, etc.
- And all other variations..
Though above situations are not seen as a taboo in all societies, you can bet that whatever you and your twin are facing is deemed a taboo in your cultural or religious community of origin. In our case I am 18 years older than my twin, a thing that does not bother us but is considered NOT DONE in the Indian (Hindu) culture despite the fact that Krishna fell in love with Radha who was also his senior and married. Not to judge Hindu’s in particular the same applies for Muslims by the way despite the fact that Khadija his first wife was much older (15 years) than the prophet Mohammed. Hell even French president Macron was under fire (this year) because he had married his 25 year older teacher, so in general all cultures seem to find an older woman hard to stomach. Add to that in our case, that I am twice divorced and proud mother of three kids and that turns out to be just about every Indian families nightmare future daughter in law or at least that is how my twin felt his family would see me. In his eyes loving me was committing social suicide and would surely disgrace and hurt his family.
Instead of my story now fill in the social disgrace your Twin Flame feels he or she must overcome in order to be with you and you will start to understand the Jeckyll and Hyde persona that is activated in them through this inner conflict. The 5th dimensional truth of their being, the earth shattering connection with you and their undying and unfathomable deep love for you are pushing against all the masks that their 3D conditioning of growing up in their culture of origin has made them wear to fit in with the rest, this creates an immense inner conflict that has them flipping in an out of their 3D ego mask and desperately wanting to live their 5D Soul truth.
When they do allow themselves to be their true self with you, it automatically triggers all their 3D ego masks, wounds and beliefs that warn them to get back in line – to fulfill what is expected of them. Hello Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, this split nature cannot help but emerge because your twin is in fact in a constant inner battle to keep living the life (basically the lie) society expects of them, yet at their core their own Soul truth is making them doubt everything that they were brought up to believe in. Depending on which part of them is activated the most in them at that moment, you will either see their 3D ego engrossed version still holding on to their masks for dear life or you might luck out and get to spend some time with them fully living their 5D truth.
What is really going on during the runner and separation phase of your journey?
Your not knowing which part of your twin you will have to deal with this time is because they are flipping in and out between their old 3D identity and their 5D Soul truth that still doesn’t feel quiet comfortable because it has been suppressed so long.
This also brings us to what is really going on in these times of mayhem, in which in your physical reality it often seems that your connection is over and gone because why else would your twin be screwing someone else or doing their damn best to stay away from you to put it crudely. How could they turn away from something so beautiful? So deep? So profound? And you are left stunned by the fact that they seem to be able to move on in a heartbeat.
But looks (outer appearances) can be deceiving, when I first spoke to my twin after the sixteen months of separation that followed my visit to him in India he confided in me that so much had changed in his life these past two years that he didn’t even allow himself to consider everything he had been through because he would get depressed if he did. He had buried himself in his work in order to keep going… hardly the confessions of someone who went to happily enjoy his life without me. He went through the ringer as well and you can bet your twin is experiencing the same despite what you are seeing being played out in 3D.
The real cause of Twin Flame running
So what does cause all this Twin Flame running? Although on the outside it might look like it’s about their marriage, or about their fear of coming out of the closet, their commitment issues, that they have fallen in love with someone else or God knows what, but that’s outer appearance.
In reality their world is just as turned upside down as yours is, except they are still trying to fight it and get back on top the 3D way. As soon as the Twin Flame couple meet up in this lifetime a process of stripping the old is started up in both of them, the only difference being that one of them figures this out fairly quickly while the other tries desperately to upkeep the reality they have lived since their childhood and of which their conditioning dictates them to defend it with their life. The so called awakened and unawakened twin, which I actually don’t like using as terms because to me one is not better than the other. We all chose as twin couple which challenges we were going to face on our journey of coming back into oneness (unity consciousness). To me this is like the yin and the yang of our choice that gives us the opportunity to heal our deepest wounds and overcoming childhood, cultural and or religious conditioning is one of the biggest challenges every human faces – in itself it is a challenge a soul can set up for themselves as a fast track to awakening. So the one is not better than the other, it’s just the chosen perspective to view the world from.
In essence it makes the journey a lot more scary and uncomfortable when you have no idea of what is going on. Sure, knowledge can give a fake sense of security but not understanding what is going down can be terrifying and that is the perspective that the runner twin is often viewing the situation from. They have no idea about the Twin Flame concept and even if they would, they would have a difficult time believing it. They don’t know anything about 3D or 5D consciousness or why their 3D based life is not working anymore. They only know that the shit hit the fan, that they are losing friends left and right. Nothing seems a right fit anymore, jobs are lost, companies abandoned, housing situation changed and sometimes that even includes becoming homeless… But they don’t have forecasts to ease their mind, they don’t have meditations to help them calm down, information to read that helps them better understand the process they are in. Sure it’s all out there, but part of their process is the not knowing and awakening to the truth nonetheless.
You can say about the Divine masculine what Bob Thaves said about Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers:
‘Sure he was great, but don’t forget that Ginger Rogers did everything he did…backwards and in high heels.’
That’s what the Divine masculine is doing, he is going through the exact same crap as we are but then blindfolded and that is scary as hell.
Because at the root of it all – all these outer appearances of push and pull are there to help the Twin Flame pair release everything that is keeping them locked into the old 3D ego paradigm that Twin Flames have come to help collapse in this lifetime in order to help planet Earth and all it’s inhabitants make the shift to the higher 5th dimension of manifesting Heaven on Earth.
So all the push pull is just there to help you both shift out of 3D and start living your 5th dimensional Soul truth. This includes current life conditioning, past life trauma’s, oaths and vows and outdated beliefs, ancestral gunk and sludge, and so on. Most human beings are vibrational dumpsters, highly toxic carrying around lifetimes of unprocessed vibrational sh*t that is weighing them down and keeping them anchored in 3D. The meeting of your Twin Flame starts a purging process in both parties of the twin couple to help them release all this ancient crap that is keeping them from embodying their Soul truth.
Separation, is in fact preparation
Which then brings us into the separation stage because there are certain wounds to heal and inner growth to achieve, that can only come about through the illusion of separation in 3D. In reality (well unseen reality) that is in 5D your twin is forever with you anyway. But it takes some time to really dare believe that this 5D unseen reality is the ultimate reality because when we start out on this journey we still believe like every well conditioned 3D paradigm believer, that reality is only that which we can verify with our five physical senses and mainly what we can see to be true with our own eyes. So in the beginning we highly doubt everything that is coming through in 5D because it seems to be a far cry from the physical reality we are living, which usually is some sort of separation with probably a third party entering the scene, making you feel even more that all is lost.
But the truth is that this so called distance or separation only appears to be real because your soul needs that illusion to work through some of the old to ancient wounding and 3D paradigm conditioning that can only be released this way. Much like your twin chose to a large part of his journey blindfolded because it served the evolution of his soul, so did your soul choose this path with possible 3D third party and all because that was going to help you heal some very deep issues like lack of self love, codependency, fear of loss, fear of abandonment, etc. You can’t heal wounds like this in a close relationship. A third party triggers fear of loss, but there is a big difference between your twin cheating on you while you are together or coming together with someone else while you two are separated. In the first case it is much more painful because, it will also bring up feelings of betrayal and wondering if you can ever trust this person again. However in the case of Twin Flames, the connection is always Divinely protected and so even though it will trigger deep, your souls make sure you can always find your way back to each other – it is never damaged for good which does happen in karmic relationships.
The thing is that Twins are meant to be so much more than mere romantic love partners, this is not just another boy meets girl love story or any other variation in the sexes of the couple. This is a journey back home and if you would like to know more about this please download the free Gangsta Goddesses Manifesto. Because it is meant to be so much more, all these wounds have to go. In a normal 3D love relationship you can hold on to your fear of loss for example and it will be triggered ad nauseam until you decide to dump the dude who is triggering it so much and end up having it triggered again with your new beau or you finally shift it in yourself and the guy triggering it ups and leaves cause you ain’t speaking his vibe anymore. That’s 3D.
With Twin Flames who share a 5D frequency connection this doesn’t fly, because fear of loss is part of the 3D paradigm of fear and suffering, and I mention fear of loss now but it’s a whole scala of wounds you have to let go of. Basically the whole 3D romance template has to be deleted and upgraded to the new 5D templates for love that Twin Flames are bringing in. We are pioneers baby, you and I – we have agreed to incarnate in this lifetime to upgrade human love relationships to a new standard.
But most of us – due to soul amnesia once here on earth, get lost in the 3D illusion of life in the physical plane. We get caught up in the fake reality of outer appearances and we give up on or hold on too tight (push/pull) to our twin because we don’t understand what is really going on. We don’t understand that EVERYTHING is happening for our higher good and that distance or closeness are just tools used by our and our twin’s soul to bring up the wounding and instigate the soul growth.
For example trusting the 5D signs and syncs, really daring to trust your inner knowing – would that come about if you were with your twin right now? Be honest, it wouldn’t because there is no greater test of faith than believing in something in it’s absence. It’s damn easy to trust in someone’s love while they are there with you and living up to your 3D expectations of what love looks like – it is a totally different story to trust in someone’s love who is absent from your life, blocking all your calls, leaving your emails and texts unanswered and still trusting that the signs and syncs you are getting in 5D in regards to this person are actually true and that they still love you as deeply and as passionately as ever.
That my dear friend is the purpose of separation, which is in fact really preparation for what is yet to come.
Let me recap:
- Running and chasing is meant to help you shift out of 3D
- Separation is meant to help you trust 5D and raise your frequency
- Then you reconnect in order to then start manifesting the 5D Soul truth in your physical reality
Every challenge you encounter on the way is there to help you make this journey from 3D into 5D and manifesting this 5D into your physical 3D reality.
Learning to love unconditionally
This excerpt from The Game of Life and How to Play it, by Florence Scovel Shinn written in the 1920’s sums up the shift that Twin Flames are meant to make. Reading her client anecdote you see a clear picture painted of your normal everyday 3D paradigm idea of romantic love and the shift her client made into true love, the unconditional kind that vibrates at a 5D frequency.
‘Pure, unselfish love draws to itself its own; it does not need to seek or demand. Scarcely anyone has the faintest conception of real love. Man is selfish, tyrannical or fearful in his affections, thereby losing the thing he loves. Jealousy is the worst enemy of love, for the imagination runs riot, seeing the loved one attracted to another, and invariably these fears objectify if they are not neutralized.
For example: A woman came to me in deep distress. The man she loved had left her for other women, and said he never intended to marry her. She was torn with jealousy and resentment and said she hoped he would suffer as he had made her suffer; and added, “How could he leave me when I loved him so much?”
I replied, “You are not loving that man, you are hating him,” and added, “You can never receive what you have never given. Give a perfect love and you will receive a perfect love. Perfect yourself on this man. Give him a perfect, unselfish love, demanding nothing in return, do not criticize or condemn, and bless him wherever he is.”
She replied, “No, I won’t bless him unless I know where he is!” she said.
“Well,” I said, “that is not real love.”
“When you send out real love, real love will return to you, either from this man or his equivalent, for if this man is not the divine selection, you will not want him. As you are one with God, you are one with the love which belongs to you by divine right.”
Several months passed, and matters remained about the same, but she was working conscientiously with herself. I said, “When you are no longer disturbed by his cruelty, he will cease to be cruel, as you are attracting it through your own emotions.”
Then I told her of a brotherhood in India, who never said, “Good Morning” to each other. They used these words: “I salute the Divinity in you.” They saluted the divinity in every man, and in the wild animals in the jungle, and they were never harmed, for they saw only God in every living thing. I said, “Salute the divinity in this man, and say, ‘I see your divine self only. I see you as God see you, perfect, made in His image and likeness.'”
She found she was becoming more poised, and gradually losing her resentment. He was a Captain, and she always called him “The Cap.”
One day, she said, suddenly, “God bless the Cap wherever he is.”
I replied: “Now that is real love, and when you have become a ‘complete circle,’ and are no longer disturbed by the situation, you will have his love, or attract its equivalent.”
I was moving at this time, and did not have a telephone, so was out of touch with her for a few weeks, when one morning I received a letter saying, “We are married.”
At the earliest opportunity, I paid her a call. My first words were, “What happened?”
“Oh,” she exclaimed, “a miracle! One day I woke up and all suffering had ceased. I saw him that evening and he asked me to marry him. We were married in about a week, and I have never seen a more devoted man.”
There is an old saying: “No man is your enemy, no man is your friend, every man is your teacher.”
So one should become impersonal and learn what each man has to teach him, and soon he would learn his lessons and be free.
The woman’s lover was teaching her selfless love, which every man, sooner or later, must learn.’
We are all on a journey back to our true selves
Though your twin’s Jekyll and Hyde act might drive you up the wall, I hope by now that you can see that they are really in this together with you even if it sure as hell doesn’t look or feel like it at first. They are going through this shedding just like you, except they are doing it blindfolded and without the extensive support you might have already drawn in on your journey.
It might seem like they remain unaffected by everything and that their life remains the same old same old but that’s not true. When I came back from India, my webdesign company that had been producing 5 figures a month shortly before, took a giant nose dive as I was being prepared and moved into my mission – this was early 2016. I had to fire most of my staff and started a whole new business that in the end morphed into what I am doing now and during that process I definitely felt blindfolded, because I was only shown the next step in front of me each time. When I reconnected to my twin 16 months later and he briefed me on what had changed in his life, I was stunned to hear him tell me that he had left his webdesign company as well and had taken a job instead. We met through these companies in the beginning of 2014 and fell in love with each other instantly. He had set up this company straight out of college with his best friends and college mates. I thought my twin was married to that company, which he said he was but also their revenue was too low for too long and he left – leaving everything he had built to his business partner and friends. Yet even those tight nit friendships had not survived his inner shifts and he was left feeling disillusioned about the whole thing.
There are many people still killing it in the webdesign industry, but for him and me this was not where we are supposed to be anymore. For me webdesign had never been my truth, I chose it as the fastest route out of welfare, where I found myself as a single mom many years back when I divorced from my soul mate ex husband. In all honesty my decision back then was fear based, because at that time I couldn’t imagine earning money with my true passion. Through webdesign and being able to work from home I had been able to combine full-time motherhood (I have my kids 24/7 all 365 days of the year) and making a living, but although I rocked at my work as branding consultant it was ABSOLUTELY NOT what I was placed on this earth to do.
That is the journey we are all on as Twin Flames, to living our Soul truth as I do now through writing articles like these, my videos, helping twins make this shift out of 3D in my one on one sessions and through my online program. This is what I came to do in this lifetime, to support the Twin Flame collective in understanding the journey they are on and what it is asking of them. The shedding part of the journey can be quiet uncomfortable at times, for both twins but it’s only a small part of this amazing adventure we find ourselves on. I promise you there is a whole better soul aligned reality waiting for you to manifest, that is the answer to all your most cherished dreams. Don’t give up on your Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde just yet, your Divine Masculine is not the @#%$#!! that he (she) seems to be.
Wishing you magic and miracles on this amazing adventure with your beloved.
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Did this article give you a deeper understanding of what is going on between you and your Divine Masculine? Share your insights in the comments, I love to hear from you. ❤
Lots of love,
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