First I would like to thank everyone who has recently made a donation. Writing these articles for the Twin Flame collective like I do, takes time. It takes around one to one and a half days to write them, I write them because I know not everyone is in a position to work with me one on one or able to do the Twin Flame Program but still need help on their journeys nonetheless. The generous donations show me how much you appreciate my work, thank you all so much.
Do Twin Flames actually ever end up with each other?
When you are new to the Twin Flame journey, you may wonder if Twin Flames ever actually end up together. The internet seems to be filled with stories of people who are on this journey but still not together with their twin in a physical relationship.
Actually most Twin Flame teachers I know are not together with their twin, they are either in 5D union but he is not incarnated or they are both here and not together or together in-harmoniously. That is not counting the ones, claiming to be in union 2, 3 or maybe even 4. So from that perspective, it doesn’t look so promising.
In my own journey Spirit has showed me that many unexpected twists and turns had been built in, in order to prepare me for my mission as a Twin Flame healer and teacher.
But the fact that most of us are not in union at the moment doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. I have worked with twins, who have successfully made it past separation and into physical union. In fact two of my clients married their Twin Flame this month.
Romance does happen, now that I am close to four years on this journey – I have met a handful of twins who did end up with their twin and the number is growing swiftly.
If you are currently wondering if it is even possible, relax it is. But it’s a growth process, there always seems to be some interesting twist. Something that needs to be achieved first and this something is different for each Twin Flame couple. For example I know of one case where the woman let go completely and became fully at peace with her Twin Flame being with someone else, he texted her 4 minutes later to say that he broke up with his girlfriend and only wanted to be with her….
Each twin story has their own moment of transformation and for some it’s early on in the connection and for others it takes some time. Yet every Divine feminine who did end up with her twin will tell you, it was the inner shift in her that miraculously created the outer shift in her Twin Flame connection.
Here is another message of a client that recently got together with her twin after 7 years of separation….
I just wanted to share with you that after our call I left my relationship. I told Sam how I felt. I flew to see him in October after not seeing each other for 7 years. December he proposed to me and we eloped. We are planning a real wedding for this summer. Thank you for your services and for helping to set me free. I will always appreciate you.
Being in a romantic relationship with your twin, does NOT equal Twin Flame union
Which brings me to some shocking news for some of you. Every now and then I get pissy comments like this person who unsubscribed from my newsletter, leaving this message:
‘I want advice from someone who has actually succeeded in attaining union with twin flame, not a high priced wanna be. Thx but no thx.’
It’s very tempting to be blinded by those who claim to be in union.
Like I said I do not know a single Twin Flame teacher at this moment in a harmonious Twin Flame union, while both are incarnated. Being in a romantic relationship with who you believe to be your twin, does NOT equate to Twin Flame union. It just means that you are in a physical relationship.
Which also allows for a lot of people to claim that they are together with their twin, whether that is true or not. Just look at some of the prominent Twin Flame teachers who are on to union 4 or 5, which means they were wrong about all the people they thought were their twin before and some even believe they have multiple twins and can be in union with all of them simultaneously.
There is a lot of BS being shoveled out in the Twin Flame community and the biggest BS is thinking that a romantic union is the same as a true Twin Flame union.
While many belief that the coming together in a physical romantic relationship is the ultimate reward of this journey, it actually isn’t. The inner transformation is the true reward and that inner transformation, becomes reflected outwardly as a physical manifestation that can be a romantic relationship with the one you believe to be your Twin Flame but it is going to be so much more than that.
If you want to know more about why meeting your Twin Flame is not just another ‘boy meets girl’ love story please download the free Gangsta Goddesses Manifesto.
Trust me ending up with your twin in a romantic relationship is really not the ultimate climax, you believe it to be. There are even higher climaxes to attain on this journey, that satisfy way deeper than the one you currently have in mind.
Why inner union is a prerequisite for Twin Flame union?
I alluded to the inner shift and the transformation that is a prerequisite for Twin Flame union, it’s NOT a prerequisite for a physical romantic union, although that also requires an inner shift – but a true 5th dimensional union grounded in the 3rd dimensional reality basically requires that you learn to access 5D all on your own and create inner union, within the self first.
From that inner state of union, outer union and unity is reflected back to you. Because that is how life here on planet Earth works. What we believe to be true inside of ourselves, is reflected back to us as our outer physical experiences.
It is also for this reason that true union cannot be lost, because it’s a soul growth process and therefore a state of consciousness in the self that is reflected back in the physical experience. It is a self perpetuating inner state, that does not depend on outer conditions.
Can you see how that is something WAY bigger, then just getting to play house with your Twin Flame in your 3D experience? I know how good sex can be with the twin. I know how he or she feels like home, like you have never ever felt home here on planet Earth before and yet I want to tell you that this is but a drop in the bucket compared to the state of consciousness that this journey has been pre-designed to bring you in.
In the end this journey is all about YOU, it really isn’t about the other. It’s about you coming home to you and liberating yourself from everything that has kept you imprisoned in false identities, bogus fears and false beliefs.
Now be honest, nobody is THAT good in bed, that they can compete with that right?!
What is in fact not holding up your Twin Flame union
Before we dive into what might be blocking your union, let’s first look at some of the widespread fake reasons many twins think is keeping their Twin Flame union (and they really only mean the physical romantic relationship) from manifesting for them.
Free will – Free will doesn’t really exist on an ego level. Free will exists on a soul level, but the ego stands in service of the soul whether it wants to or not. It’s just the hierarchy of things. Just as your left foot can’t ever decide to walk off on it’s own or basically do anything that it has not be signaled to do by the brain. Your left foot might have grand illusions about being in control of the body, but in the end that’s all they are – grand illusions. The same applies for the real control the ego has over this embodiment, it may thinks it’s directing your life but the head honcho is and always remains to be the soul.
Your twin soul wants union as much you do, if they are acting differently in the flesh it’s not because that is their free will kicking in. It’s because that is what is needed and has been agreed upon before incarnation to bring on the inner transformation that both souls wanted to experience in this lifetime.
The dark forces – I hate to burst your bubble (actually I love to) but blaming the dark forces is just about the lamest excuse ever. There are NO dark forces out to get Twin Flames or to obstruct their union and keep them from the light. That is such duality thinking, which is exactly the kind of old paradigm thinking this journey is meant to shift you out of.
The truth is that their is only ONE power (not two), there is only Go(o)d – because everything in your physical experience is always happening for your highest good. People ascribe to the influences of dark forces, that which they are unable to comprehend. But just because you don’t understand why something is happening doesn’t mean that it isn’t happening in your favor or that it’s brought on by dark forces trying to obstruct you.
As they say ‘man’s rejection is God’s protection…‘
So please keep those hundred to thousands of dollars that you were going to spend on having someone lift curses, spells or remove demons and dark energies from your union – because it’s all hogwash. Spend that money on your own healing instead, because that is what is really going to set you free. Limit your budget on healers that will magically heal you, because healing means facing your fears, your pain, your illusions head on and understanding that they were not the truth to begin with. That process is bypassed if someone just lifts everything off of you, which does not bring the understanding and soul growth that the experience was meant for.
Twin is not healed/ready – Another massive illusion that is very pervasive among a large group of feminine twins in the Twin Flame community, is the idea that they are somehow further along than there Divine counterpart. They feel they are more healed, more awakened and ready for union, in the meantime just waiting on their lagging Divine masculine to get with the program. They honestly believe it’s just the other person, holding up the union process.
Spirit recently dictated this new teaching on the so-called ‘un-awakened’ twin (part of the teachings I share in my online program) to help us see the truth behind the true reason many masculine Twin Flames behave the way they do. What Spirit showed me, was that the behavior of the so called ‘un-awakened’ twin is custom designed to trigger the deep subconscious wounding that still needs to be brought into the conscious awareness of the feminine counterpart.
Which is vital to understand as even people who think they are very awake are only consciously directing their life for about 5%, the rest of their life experience is determined for 95% by their unconscious and subconscious mind. Which actually when you look at it is also the ratio in which the ego has ‘free will’ and that the soul in fact calls the shots.
And this applies especially to our unconscious and subconscious wounds, they are there and influence our lives big time yet because we are not consciously aware of them we don’t see the correlation between what we are experiencing in our physical reality and what we hold to be true inside of us.
The f*cked up, wishy washy, mind maddening behavior of the Divine counterpart is custom designed to trigger these dormant wounds that you don’t consciously know are there, in order to help you become aware of them and heal them once and for all.
The Twin Flame is one big cosmic mirror reflecting back to you, your own state and in fact the twins screaming the LOUDEST that their Divine masculine has so much to learn, so much to heal and is so un-awakened are basically seeing their own lack of understanding, their own need for healing and their own lack of being awoke reflected back to them.
Don’t feel judged there if this applies to you, because it applies to all of us. Only last Sunday I was foaming at the mouth at the immense weakness of character I was projecting on my counterpart. Because this is my line of work, I of course realized that I was WAY TOO UPSET for this to really be about him at all.
Sure enough two days later I access a past life in a session with one of my own healers in which I had extreme wounding around my own weakness of character as a prioress in an English abbey at the shift into the patriarchal era we find ourselves again shifting out of now. That past life expression of me was terrified of her own weakness and had kept an iron grip on herself, because she was afraid if she didn’t she would unleash a monster within.
The truth is we all get confronted with the Twin Flame mirror, the key is to realize that what you see reflected back to you is really about you. It saves time otherwise wasted on waiting for your twin to wake up….
Which subconscious blocks are sabotaging your Twin Flame union?
When preparing to write this article it dawned on me that the essence of this journey all comes down to healing codependency on every level. I purposely didn’t use this word in the title because you would have most likely not self selected yourself for reading this article, or maybe you would have…
Instead I chose a title that would help ALL people frustrated with their union not happening to self select themselves to read this, because many of you might not identify with the word codependency consciously even though as I will explain in this article this is a subconscious wounding for everyone. But because you don’t know what you don’t know, I got you to read this by appealing to what you are consciously aware of your frustration with union not happening and your eagerness to understand what you can do about it.
Which brings us back to the essence of this article, that physical union and certainly true Twin Flame union is being sabotaged not outside of you (i.e. you being a victim) but inside of you by inner wounding you were unaware of. Heal the inner wounding and you remove the internal blocks, holding up the outer manifestation of your heart’s desire.
Mind you, one three or maybe even 10 healing session with various healers may not land you the outer union you crave on a silver platter – what it will do is get you out of the d*mn cage you put yourself in and well on your way to inner union which is what this journey is all about anyway, whether you end up in a physical relationship with your twin or not.
Like other sites I can promise you that one or two sessions with me will do the trick, but that would be lying as it all depends on where you are at in your journey and how many wounds still need distance to be triggered. As you and your twin’s souls use closeness and distance to trigger the subconscious wounding that is keeping you from having what you really want.
I am sorry but there are no magic pills that create instant unions (physical romantic relationships or otherwise). You have to do the work, remember this is a SOUL GROWTH process – you can’t cut corners any other way then diving deep into the subconscious mind anyway you can and have yourself a massive Spring cleaning in there.
Because that in the end is the only sure fire way to even get yourself on the road to attaining union – which is what you want right?
If I am irritating you with my refusal to tell you that union is imminent, it’s because a crucial part of coming into physical union or Twin Flame union specifically is to let go of the desired outcome. In fact holding on to the outcome of union with the twin as the ONLY possible option is in fact still codependent and based on the belief that true happiness is only found through another person outside yourself – which is not true.
So let’s dive into some other codependent beliefs you maybe holding onto subconsciously that are waiting to be healed.
When you are emotionally codependent you are seeking love outside of you and your emotional well being too, which are both things that need to be found within to have them be reflected in your outer reality.
When teachers tell you that Twin Flame union is an inside job, this is what they mean. It all starts inside of you and then gets reflected back to you in your physical experience.
Change what you believe inside of you and the physical manifestation of that belief is what you will see in your day to day experience. Don’t like what you see there? Then go back inside and work on those inner beliefs until you find happiness within. When you have found happiness within, that is how your everyday life is going to feel like – because it is the vibrational frequency you resonate at and attract back to you.
If your source of love, happiness and emotional safety is placed outside of you – you leave yourself no other option then to bend over backwards and compromise yourself in order not to have this person leave your life – which is the traditional meaning of the word codependency. However this (emotional) crutching on someone or something else, we also do on every other level of existence and I believe that is the core of what we need to transcend as Twin Flames because it holds the key to all other aspects of this journey.
These would be all false beliefs, fears and wounds around being safe in the world alone. Being able to financially take care of yourself. Being able to survive without someone else satisfying your sexual needs. If you are codependent physically you somehow believe that you need someone else to take care of your physical needs.
This doesn’t mean that it’s wrong to have these things like money, sex and physical safety. They are your natural given birthright as a human being, the problem lies in the false belief that you NEED someone else to give you this.
Inner states of lack are reflected back to you as outer states of lack, so if you believe that without someone in your life to take care of your physical needs they won’t be met in the way you need – guess what your real life physical experience is going to reflect back to you?
You might think oh well that’s not an issue for me, but on this journey we also clear our ancestral beliefs and programs which can be very tenacious. Do you realize that we are the first generations of women not only being able to provide for ourselves on such a large scale, but also earning so generously?
My grandmother on father’s side was one of the very first doctors in the Netherlands in the 1930’s and she was only allowed to treat women and children. Until 1956 at least in the Netherlands, women needed the permission of their husbands to buy even something as stupid as household appliances because hold on to your seat – women were considered not of full legal capacity. We were not considered CAPABLE of taking care of ourselves and our life.
Here’s the thing though…
Even when we are not consciously aware of it we have these programs running at a deep unconscious level. If it’s not from our feminine ancestors or our male ancestors beliefs-system about the place of a woman, just think about how many past lives you lived in which this was your reality?!
When you are mentally codependent you believe that your Twin Flame has to be in your life in order to be able to heal or live your mission. You don’t know how many Divine feminines are not sharing their unique gift with the world, because they feel they NEED their twin either in order to do the healing work on themselves together or to safe/serve the world together.
The most profound healing work is often done in the Twin Flame separation stage, your twin doesn’t have to be anywhere near you in any way – in order for you to work on the wounds that get triggered by their absence or otherwise.
You don’t need your twin to heal. Your twin doesn’t need to know how much you have healed and even if you told them they might not even understand what on earth you are on about because in order to play the role they promised you they would play (the agent to your awakening), they need to be blissfully unaware.
Your mission doesn’t depend on your twin being by your side or not either. Daily I get messages from Twin Flames all over the world telling me how my work is the best info they have come across on the Twin Flame subject, which is a huge compliment.
But listen up – I am not in daily contact with my twin. My Twin Flame is currently miserably married to someone else, trying to live up to family, cultural and societal expectations.
Imagine me having waited until he recognized our connection and mission, got a divorce said his family and India goodbye to come here…. to hold my hand because only then would what I have to say be validated?!
It’s all just 3D thinking babes, it might be that your twin doesn’t need to support you in the physical to be on a joint mission anyway. Look at mine, he knows about the Twin Flame concept I have told him about it, he knows I have a successful business in it and he is very proud of me. He also let me bring in the healing and clearing energy in his chakra system and then chickened out when he felt the pain in his heart chakra – but I actually have no idea if he believes we are twins or not. Nor do I care or need that to be the case in order for me to step into my mission and help thousands and thousands of people get a better understanding of the Twin Flame journey.
Let me get really specific with you here. My Twin Flame contact consists of a three week visit to India where we spend close to two weeks together more or less (we only slept in each others arms twice during that time), I’d say about 25 emails from me to him and about two emails from him to me. Maybe 10 Whatsapp and Facebook convo’s all but two initiated by me and maybe 15 or so phone calls all initiated by me, not counting the couple of times he called me while I was in India to check in or take care of logistics. In April 2018 we will be in each others lives for four years. Oh and he has managed to forget my birthday as long as I know him!
The point is that the guy and I have barely ever touched based in the physical with each other, let alone really spent time with each other but that has not stopped me from becoming one of the most well known Twin Flame teachers at this moment. You don’t NEED your twin for anything and if truth be told, in fact my Twin Flame marrying someone else has actually made me a much better teacher and much more aware of what it is like to have to deal with a third party karmic or soul mate connection.
What he and I do have going for us, is that from the very start we both knew what we wanted the other to be in our lives. Romance and sex was coursing through our veins from the start, even though I am a bit (a lot) older than him. That has never changed, even his marriage didn’t change those feelings on his side – so apparently you don’t need many moments of contact, only utterly deep ones, to know you have found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
That this hasn’t manifested in a physical union yet, turned out to be the biggest blessing actually. Ironically it brought me where I am today and that is in a whole other consciousness than I would have remained in if we had hooked up as swiftly as I often thought I would have liked to.
If you haven’t caught up to it by now, mental codependency is when you don’t trust whats coming through in 5D and are constantly looking for 3D (physical) confirmation in order to allow yourself to move forward. You are dependent on 3D confirmation to satisfy your rational train of thought, to have proof and evidence of what is real and that is old paradigm thinking.
Stay awake now because this is going to be an interesting one as well, I know this is getting really long but hey nobody else is writing in such detail about this stuff are they? So here we go on the topic of vibrational codependency.
When Twin Flames connect they automatically enter a 5D energy vortex with each other, a space of instant manifestation, immense flow, unconditional love and unlimited abundance. Before I learned how to get there on my own vibrational frequency, as soon as my twin was close to me through text, phone or email – my revenue would skyrocket immediately. My vibrational frequency would shoot up with him and I would effortlessly tap into unlimited abundance.
For him it was the same, in our last call he was very sick when I called him – maybe that was why he picked up after months of refusing my calls. 10 minutes into that call he was back to his old self and saying how just talking to me had healed him…. So it’s a two way street and they feel it too.
Anyway the gag is of course that in reality you and I and the entire human species are powerful creative beings, we are Gods and Goddesses so of course the Universe and our souls are not going to let us get away with being codependent on our twins energy to be able to access and anchor in 5D.
You guessed it, we have to learn to get there on our own – without bouncing off on the energy vortex we automatically create when we connect with our twin. Which also explains why a couple of healing sessions and some guided meditations is not going to get you there.
It DOES NOT have to take decades, but you can’t rush soul growth and soul maturity it happens in it’s own time just like a baby’s gestation time in the womb or the years of puberty that prepare you for becoming an adult. It takes as long as it takes.
I know it’s not fast and sexy to tell you this. I know you would much rather hear, you can get there in the blink of an eye which is technically true but for most of us it just takes time to come into vibrational alignment and that’s okay.
It just is what it is and seeing that there is often lifetimes and lifetimes of past trauma that needs to be healed and cleared (<— click on the link if you’d like some help clearing this) from your vibrational field in order to raise your personal vibrational frequency to be able to anchor in 5D – you’ll just have to clear out the ancient gunk and sludge first.
The hardest to recognize maybe, is the subconscious spiritual codependency that most Twin Flames have going on and that is the illusion that you need your twin for the Ascension process.
Granted meeting your Twin Flame certainly puts you on a fast-track to enlightenment. They certainly act as an amazing catalyst to spiritual growth, but when it comes down to it, ascension is a solo journey. You do it on your own without your twin holding your hand because the truth is of course that you are whole in yourself, you are not a half needing your other half to go back home.
That’s where the me foaming at the mouth about my perceived weakness of character in my twin last week brought me. I was beside myself with anger towards him and in case that shocks you, spiritual people that suppress anger because it’s a ‘negative’ emotion don’t actually end up in heaven – they end up with ulcers and liver issues because suppressing anger is very unhealthy. Not that it is healthy to unleash your anger on others, but it is healthy to allow yourself to feel your anger and express it in safe ways.
I am digressing… I knew something was up because I was angry as hell with this guy and he had not really done anything except look like a limp d*ck in my eyes, which in the end turned out to be my intolerance with my own weakness. This journey actually never is boring, is it? But I didn’t know that yet at that time. I just new that I must be projecting something internal to be distraught over something that was actually none of my business. What do I care if he doesn’t stand in his own power and truth, unless I still somewhere believe that what he says or does influences me?
So I shot myself an email to the Universe saying:
I got my answer that same evening. Since a couple of weeks I am an admin on Twin Flames Divine and the other groups run by Filomena James. I brought in some friends of mine and we help moderate the groups, which comes down to screening member requests, screening content and keeping an eye on the responses to posts by members.
That night someone shares a video by Jessica Alstrom (who I had never heard of) and in order to ascertain if the video content was appropriate for the group I had to watch it at least for some part.
Instead I watched the whole thing because I was blown away by the content. The exact timelines that she shared and that I deeply recognized made me question if in fact the Twin Flame is the catalyst of the ascension process, or just a manifestation of a collective process that is happening anyway. I realized that subconsciously I may have given the connection and this guy way more credit than deserved…
Which brought me to the idea of letting go of the Twin Flame label and identification in my own journey to see where that would lead. When I did I realized that it was this codependent belief, that I NEED this other person for my ascension process that had kept me holding on by the pinkies – when I had already let him go and surrendered our connection on every other level.
Don’t get me wrong this does not mean that I don’t believe in Twin Flames anymore or worse. On the contrary I strongly believe in what I do, but I am also very committed to THE TRUTH and you can’t get to the truth if you hold on to dogma and refuse to be shown a different perspective. So that is what I opened myself up to, the Universe showing me a different perspective which came through instantly and will probably go deeper over time.
But in that moment, what I realized was that I had in fact subconsciously clung to the idea that if for nothing else I needed this guy in my life for my spiritual growth and ascension process.
Which is of course not true, but that’s the thing!
None of the stuff we believe subconsciously is true to begin with, they are all false beliefs. But because we are not aware that we are believing them, we can’t see that they are not true. They were true for us at some point in time, yet the subconscious mind knows only now – so anything it believes to be true from this lifetime or fifty lifetimes ago, there is no difference to the subconscious mind – It only knows that it is TRUE. Even when objectively it’s a false belief or at best it applied back then but does not apply anymore now.
That’s why we need to dive into our subconscious programming and shine a light on what we have allowed to accumulate in the shadows of our unconscious awareness. Just like decluttering a house, we need to roam through the different rooms and decide what stays and what needs to go. When we do that, we free ourselves from our own self imprisonment and everything that is keeping us from really stepping into the highest expression of our authentic self.
I pray this article serves you and helps you further along on your journey.
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Wishing you magic and miracles on this amazing adventure with your beloved.
If this article resonates with you please share it abundantly. Thank you.
Lots of love,
P.s. if you are interested in a step by step guide to your Twin Flame journey and creating inner union, sign up for the Gangsta Goddesses Tribe and you get instant access to my online program the Align to Your Divine Plan Twin Flame Mastery Program.