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This article is in no way meant to discredit anyone or devalue anyone’s work. I wrote this article to help those seeking guidance on their Twin Flame journey to find the healers, teachers and psychics that will benefit them and their union the most. As someone who works extensively with many different healers on my own journey I share some of the best tips for having positive experiences. I end with a section of how even your negative experiences can turn out to be blessings in disguise even though they might have been less pleasant to go through.
Making your way in the Twin Flame arena
The Twin Flame journey is a complex one, full of paradoxes and for a large part of the journey your outer reality will in no way match what you know to be the ultimate truth inside. This alone makes you wonder if you haven’t just lost your mind and are in dire need of some mental help to be free of this obsession.
Download the free Gangsta Goddesses Manifesto to learn about why this connection turns your world upside down and causes so much bewilderment.
In order to cope with all this inner turmoil that makes no sense to the mind you reach out to psychics, teachers and healers in order to try and get a grip on reality again. If you are lucky you will find someone who will really be of service to you and your union. If you don’t watch out you could end up not only wasting money but even getting hurt if you decide to work with ‘the wrong’ person, although these experiences can actually be a blessing in disguise.
In this article I will walk you through some tips that will help you choose the teachers, healers and psychics that will serve you and your union in the best way and I will help you see that even negative experiences can create positive shifts for you on your Twin Flame journey and become catalyst experiences for your union.
No certification and no regulation
As in any market segment where there is no certification and no regulation, it means anyone can set up shop. This does not have to be a bad thing and let’s face it, it’s not like there is a course out there in which you can get your Master’s degree in Twin Flame relationships. Although not a new phenomena at all, it is only recently that the concept of Twin Flames has reached so many people and the biggest information resource on this journey is the internet.
I grew up with one of the very first Twin Flame teachers, Elizabeth Clare Prophet back in the 1980’s and I can tell you back then nobody I knew outside of our community had ever even heard of Twin Flames in that time. Nowadays it’s almost the opposite, now everybody seems to want to put the label ‘Twin Flame’ on their relationship whether it’s a soul mate relationship or just a very toxic one…
The truth is that there is only one way to become an expert on this journey whether you are a psychic, a healer or a teacher and that is by having met your Twin Flame yourself and sharing your lessons learned and spiritual gifts developed through meeting your beloved and doing your own healing work.
But here in lies the problem, because the internet is the biggest Twin Flame resource. Because there are no certifications and regulations everyone on this journey can set up a website, share their views on Twin Flames and create products to help others further along on their journey. This is wonderful if these people have reached a certain point of equilibrium in their own process, however there are also many Twin Flames eager to live their mission who are themselves still so wounded that they are in fact not ready yet to serve the world. This also accounts for so much contradicting information on the Twin Flame subject and let’s be honest loads of misinformation because it is written by people who are still writing from their own wounding. People who do not understand their own journey yet, but share their insights or lack thereof publicly anyway.
When these people start offering sessions it only gets worse…
I’m not going to pussy foot around this, some people should just not be serving the collective because they themselves are not ready yet. You need to achieve a certain level of healing and spiritual growth because otherwise you will constantly be looking at the world and your clients through the lens of your own wounding and everything you say and do will be influenced by your own wounds (projection of your wounding onto others). It’s these psychics, healers and wanting to be teachers that can create negative experiences on this journey.
What is important when choosing to work with a healer, teacher or psychic?
Let me give you some important guidelines that will help you navigate towards those healers, teachers and psychics that will benefit you and your union and further on I will give you some great examples of how working with a fake or charlatan can turn out to be a blessing in disguise, but let’s first concentrate on how to align to those people that you will actually love to work with.
Does the healer, teacher or psychic have to be a Twin Flame?
Obviously the teacher does have to be a Twin Flame, in order to be able to teach you about the process, but the healer or psychic does not have to be. Most of my work I have done with a local healer who is not perse a Twin Flame healer. It all depends, the problem with non Twin Flame healers or psychics is that most of them will not understand the Twin Flame process and will give you wrong feedback. I have had so many healers tell me that this was not a Twin Flame connection or that even if it was, it was not meant to be anything else than it had been up til then. If I would have listened to them I would have never gotten where I am now. The same goes for psychics although I am not fond of using psychics on this journey especially if your only question is ‘When will he/she come back?‘ I can’t actually say that my experience with Twin Flame healers is better, I honestly don’t think it really matters for healing if someone is on the journey as well – the healing part is important not their personal opinion about your connection or if they have experienced it themselves. For psychics it does make a difference if they are familiar with the Twin Flame journey especially because for the untrained eye Twin Flame running can look the same as toxic behavior in a dysfunctional relationship which will make a reader want to protect you if they can’t see the difference.
Does the healer, teacher or psychic have to be in union?
No, this is not necessary. Everyone on the Twin Flame journey at some point seems to be hyper focused on union but most mistake a physical romantic relationship for Twin Flame union. This is not the same thing. I know it is what you want most out of this connection with this person that you love in a way, that you have never ever loved another human being before, but having a physical romantic relationship with them is NOT what Twin Flame union really means.
So basically anyone who is a couple can claim this is Twin Flame union, because they are in a romantic relationship with each other but that does not make it a union. It just makes it a romantic relationship, remember not all couples go through the push/pull dynamic or separation. Some twin couples don’t have so much turbulence between the two of them, their issue is more outwards but that still does not equate to Twin Flame union.
Twin Flame union is much more than a romantic relationship, it is the merging back to oneness and the return to unity consciousness – which first takes place inside yourself before it manifests outside of you. You can be in a romantic relationship for years with your twin before you reach true union. So don’t be fooled by the outer appearance of two people in a romantic relationship, it does not mean they are true Twin Flames and it also doesn’t mean they are in union. This is a 3D trap that is not relevant, one of my worst experiences was with a Twin Flame healer in so called union. Anyone who has a physical partner can claim to be in union and in fact one of the biggest Twin Flame teachers out there is in union in 5D only, because her Twin Flame is not incarnated. Yep, that would look something like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze in the 90’s movie Ghost.
Does what they write or say resonate with you?
You can already find out a lot about what level of consciousness you are dealing with by what they write or say on their website. Does this resonate with you? My rule of thumb is, that if their free content already serves me and my journey their paid products certainly will because the free stuff is a sample bite of their consciousness.
For me, I am gone as soon as someone starts off about the dark forces (victim consciousness) the 144.000 chosen ones (ego consciousness) and multiple Twin Flames (making up excuses to sleep around). I would never book a session with someone that would write or talk about this kind of stuff because it just does not resonate with me.
So when looking to book a session with someone, check if what they are giving you as a sample of their consciousness if that actually resonates with you. Do you want more of this? Because that is what you will get if you work with them one on one, you will get more of that same level of consciousness except then intenser and more personalized to your individual situation.
What does your gut feeling tell you?
I am not talking about the voice in your head here that may fear, that it won’t work for you or that it might be a waste of money or even deeper fears that get triggered of things you will have to face if you go further with this. I know my clients sometimes already start crying when they book me and some already have major shifts before we even do the session, because as soon as they book they already connect with my energy. So don’t listen to the chatter of the mind.
Go deeper, sink deep into your body, into your gut feeling. What does your gut tell you when you think about booking a session with this person? Listen to it.
My worst experiences have been with people that I had already not been sure of or better yet my gut cautioned me to be careful with and that I went ahead anyway. Always listen to your gut feeling about something. It’s always right.
Are you dealing with an amateur or a professional?
Your safest bet in every way is to choose to work with professionals. This will improve your overall experience, but it will also protect you both during the session and afterwards. You can share very intimate details with this person and quite often there are multiple partners involved in Twin Flame relationships, possibly your own, your twin’s or you could both still be in karmic or soul mate relationships with others. This kind of information needs to be handled with care, so you need to be sure that the other person is a person of integrity.
But also you need to be handled with care as you are in a vulnerable place and need to be able to trust the person you work with to create a safe environment for you to heal and grow in. I once had a client who nearly went ballistic because a healer posted a message for her openly on her Facebook wall expressing her concerns for her well being, the healer meant well naturally but the client just didn’t want any of her family and friends to know about this part of her life. In general it’s a bit weird to post on someone’s wall ‘I am worried about you, are you okay?‘ It tends to set off all the people who care about you to wonder if somethings wrong – so it was not a very well thought through plan and simply something you don’t want after you have worked with someone. You want this person to be discrete.
Although not fool proof both the state of a website and a person’s pricing can tell you a lot about if you are dealing with an amateur or a professional. If the website is built in a free website builder like WordPress or Wix or just looks like it was self built – you are dealing with an amateur. If on top of that you book a session through email instead of an online checkout system in which you can pay with credit card or PayPal, this person has not been in business very long. If they are not using an online scheduler to book their sessions, they don’t have many clients because otherwise they wouldn’t have time to go back and forth with people in multiple emails to schedule the session.
If their pricing is extremely affordable it means they are just starting out and have not realized their worth yet, this could actually turn out in your favor if they are extremely gifted without knowing it yet. But more often than not, it is just a give away that this person is not a professional. Low pricing is also a dead give away, that they are doing this next to their daytime job or studies which can obscure their priorities as well and have you waiting weeks to get a session because they don’t have their sh*t together.
Recently I dealt with someone like this, it took her 15 emails to schedule a session, for which she did not show up at the agreed time – three times. Then when I insisted on a refund she sent me a questionnaire that could have been sent in the very first email and then she used the session to project her own wounding on to me, claiming that I had booked the session with her only to discredit her and take out the competition.
Look I got nervous too when I worked with big names in the Twin Flame community. The very first time I worked with a hypnotherapist as a client I was scared as well. I don’t do hypnosis but the energy I channel does work similarly and gives the receiver access to subconscious programming and past lives. Of course the first time I worked with a professional who did similar work to my own it triggered fears of inadequacy, but I don’t let my own fears and insecurities affect my service to my clients, that’s the difference between amateurs and professionals.
I know one tarot reader for example that had this massive sale on her services, loads of people booked. She went to see her twin in real life came back a complete and utter mess, had some other things going on in her personal life that were challenging and most of those people are still waiting for the reads they bought. It might be harsh but if you are now in a place that your own journey can still really take you out, you should not be offering your services to the collective. It makes these types of teachers, healers or psychics unreliable because they have not reached stable ground in their own journey.
What do you want to get out of your session?
One of the reasons I am not fond of consulting psychics on the Twin Flame journey is that let’s say 90% of the bookings with psychics are to answer only three questions, the first being ‘Is this my Twin Flame?‘ followed by ‘Will he/she come back?‘ and the third being ‘When will he/she be back?‘ Using psychic reads in this way is one of the rookie mistakes that actually postpones Twin Flame union. This is because the underlying cause, which is fear of loss is one of the wounds that need to be healed on the Twin Flame journey. As long as you keep on suppressing that fear of loss by having your future read, it doesn’t bring you much further. It’s why so many twins keep going in circles.
I am also not fond of past life reads through any form of divination, not because I think everyone needs to come to me but because knowing the story is only part of the healing that working with past lives is meant to give you. You don’t need someone else telling you stories that could or could not be true, what you need is to release the vibrational residue of these past lives from your personal vibrational field. The story is just a story, past lives are only interesting to know if they can facilitate healing in your current day life. All the rest is ego BS. The best way as far as I am concerned to do past life healing is by experiencing them yourself, as this allows you to also reconnect to the emotions and thoughts from that lifetime, which can help you heal your current lifetime reality.
If you want to do psychic or tarot reads pick a reader who can help you identify your own blocks. Do not believe any reader that says you are ready and that you are only waiting for your twin because it’s not true. If your twin is not ready, it means you are not ready either. If you are not ready, it means you still have things to heal and places where you still need to grow. Again many readers and psychics have YouTube channels where they offer you a sample of the level of consciousness they will bring into the reading, choose someone that will help you see where you still need to grow and heal because that is the key to progressing on this journey.
You can only reach your desired destination on this journey by doing the healing work and the spiritual growth, there is just no other way. No one can do the healing work for you, someone can facilitate and support your healing and working with someone else can definitely speed up the process – but you are the only one who can do the actual healing work itself.
Ask Spirit to bring you the perfect healer
One sure fire way to attract the exact right people in your life is to ask Spirit (the Universe/God) to bring them to you. Recently I went to Ibiza where an old wound got massively triggered while I was there and I was so fed up with it. I prayed to God to bring me the exact right person to work with on this issue and only a week or so later I see a Facebook post of someone moving to Ibiza, offering energetic healing sessions and that if you still want to work with her before she leaves the Netherlands (where I live) you have to book now.
I booked a session with her which was extremely powerful and have a next session planned in a couple of weeks. I use this method to ask for everything I want and then wait for it to show up.
What can you learn from fakes, amateurs and charlatans?
I believe in the good of people, so I actually believe that most people creating negative experiences for others on the Twin Flame journey are not intending to do this. I do believe they really want to serve, but perhaps need to heal themselves a bit more before they do.
Then there are also the delusionals who are just completely out of touch with reality and should seriously not be working with clients period. So personally I don’t really believe in fakes and charlatans, I think it’s more wording we use for experiences that did not go very well.
But I also believe that everything that happens in life is always for our highest good and that even negative experiences can turn out to be blessings in disguise, let me give you some examples of this.
A lesson in discernment
One of the things that could be behind experiences like this is a lesson in discernment. Does what the person says or writes resonate? What does your gut feeling say? For example in my most recent experience with the 15 emails to schedule and then not delivering anyway, the person who recommended this healer to me should have been my tip off. She was one of my clients and although I deal with people daily that are feeling obsessed, frantic or overly emotional (I often see people at their most desperate times) – this person was a bit erratic. I should have known that from her level of consciousness, to not expect much from any recommendation she made.
Learning to distinguish between lower vibe and higher vibe energy is an important part of this journey where we are shedding all of the old 3D conditioning and anchoring in the higher 5th dimensional frequencies. This experience was definitely still drenched in some heavy 3D stuff both with my client that recommended her as well as this healer.
This healer claimed to be married to her Twin Flame and to have assisted dozens and dozens of couples into union, yet her recommendations were all pretty much based on the 3D approach to romance and love which do not work in a Twin Flame connection – it will get you nowhere. Which also calls for discernment in regards to what is being said in a session, does it resonate with you? If it doesn’t resonate and it’s not fear that is trying to talk you out of it, don’t do it.
For example if you get the recommendation to stop contacting your twin and wait till he or she contacts you, that can bring up fear of loss and you might be afraid that if you don’t keep reaching out the connection will be lost forever. That’s fear talking and if the other is your true Twin Flame, you cannot lose the connection with each other. In contrast if someone advises you to put pressure on your twin to tell your where you stand, when he or she may be in a relationship with a third party that should be a red flag for 3D behavior. It’s trying to force clarity, it’s trying to force the connection and force is always 3D. That’s the discernment you need to develop, what is high vibe and will create positive shifts? What is low vibe and just create more of the same stuff that has kept you stuck?
A test of commitment
Sometimes we also attract situations like this as a test of commitment for ourselves. This happened to me shortly after I was guided to focus only on Twin Flames with my services. You see Gangsta Goddesses didn’t start out Twin Flame related, to be honest when I set up this company I was devastated. I had just returned from India, where all my dreams had come true. I had met my Twin Flame in real life, we had the same feelings for each other in real life as we had felt the previous one and a half year since we had met each other online through our companies. We both owned web design companies back then. At that point in time I was nowhere close to teaching anyone anything about the Twin Flame journey as I was still desperately trying to force romance in 3D. My twin at that time slammed the door shut in my face blatantly claiming that he had never wanted to marry me and that I just had not been willing to listen. He was lying through his teeth but I was at least wise enough to know, to accept that he had changed his mind apparently and that I needed to try and move on – even though until today we have never achieved closure. In fact by the time we did reconnect after 16 months of separation and 9 months of no mutual contact, the first thing we made clear to each other was that we both still felt the same way about each other and wanted a life together even if that was not possible at this time.
So about nine months into my company and working with clients helping them heal all kinds of subconscious and past life wounding I start to attract more and more Twin Flames as I write about what I have learned on my own journey. At some point it becomes crystal clear that this is my mission to help Twin Flames come into union through my teaching and healing work. I had spoken to my own twin briefly a bit before and looking back even though we only spent like 5 minutes together on the phone I could hear how happy he was to speak to me. I could hear the soft gentleness in his voice that he reserves only for me and that phone call basically catapulted me in this new direction. It also brought on a massive purge of energies, it was in this period that I found and cleared our runner life and I became even more serious about doing the work this journey asks of us.
Except back then I did it for all the wrong reasons. I did it to get him back, because back then I could not imagine ever being happy again without him in my life. I have healed that wound of codependency since then, but I know many twins feel this way as well about their twin. Back then I also used to think that it would be the best to work with someone who was already in Twin Flame union and I met this person online who claimed to be in union with her Twin Flame. They had this pretty expensive session that would help you clear deeper blocks, so I was definitely interested. Yet something told me to just first book a discovery session with her, that cost nearly nothing. So, I did that.
While chatting on Facebook she had asked to see a picture of me and my twin before the session and she had confirmed how special our connection was. When it became time for the discovery session she first couldn’t get Skype working, then she finally got Skype working but the camera was flipped so instead of her I was looking at a pile of laundry! Then she kept saying, I know why this is happening. There is a reason for this… and instead of it being about her not having her sh*t together she said it was because in fact this was not my Twin Flame. My real twin loved me very much, but was not in embodiment and my real twin had only used the body of this young man in India because he was the only one who could channel the high vibrational frequency of my real twin.
I was dumb founded when this happened and I really wondered WTF this was supposed to mean and why at the moment that I would step into my role as Twin Flame teacher and healer would I manifest this experience. Then I remembered Bentinho Massaro’s 2nd day principle which comes down to the fact that when we really want to make a quantum leap that will massively alter our physical reality our subconscious mind tests us if we are really committed to this decision.
I had never ever expected what this woman said, but it was certainly a blessing in disguise as it really forced me to commit to the truth I knew in my heart.
Trusting your own judgment
Which brings me to the last gift that a negative experience can bring you and that is forcing you to trust your own judgment.
Another negative experience you can encounter with some healers is that they insist you don’t work with other healers and only work with them. Some even go as far as to discredit the other healers you work with. That to me is ALWAYS a red flag whether that is with healers working in real life or online, if someone wants you to only work with them they are trying to get a grip on you, in order to control you.
Especially on the Twin Flame journey there is soooooo immense deep and much healing work to be done, no one healer can fulfill ALL your needs. I certainly can’t. I am extremely good at what I do, but it’s only a part of the healing work you need to do. I myself work intensely 1 to 2 sessions a month with one healer I have been working with for the past 18 years and I have been doing that at this rate for at least a year. On top of that I book extra sessions close to monthly with various other healers to work on different themes that I am working on in general for my own healing and inner growth. I do this journey hardcore and so should you. So if any healer tries to restrict you to them, that is a red flag.
Often this same group of healers, tear their clients down and that is another major red flag. When a healer starts tearing you down, that is someone who has not reached the level of healing they need to work with others. You can be dead honest and confronting with clients but a good healer will always build you up and give you the tools to continue on your own. In all honesty healers that tear their clients down often do this to undermine their sense of being able to rely on their own judgment and it goes hand in hand with getting this person in their grip and under their control. It’s a rather aggressive way of creating repeat customers and these clients will keep coming back until one day, they open their eyes and see what is really going on. Once they do, they have successfully taken their initiation in trusting their own judgment and won’t ever let anyone f*ck with them again.
A place that every Twin Flame needs to reach for themselves and this is another reason why I am not fond of consulting psychics on the Twin Flame journey in a way that many twins do – it’s because they then rely on what the psychic sees for them instead of relying on their own information coming through. Learning to rely on your own inner knowing is a mandatory part of the Twin Flame curriculum, we all need to master this.
Though it might be the least fun way to learn through negative experiences, it can often be valuable lessons. If you did have a negative experience with someone in the past, try and find the gift that experience gave you nonetheless. Once you can see the gift, it will also be much easier to thank and forgive the other person involved. Cause in the end carrying around anger, resentment and unforgiveness just weighs down your personal vibrational field, which keeps you stuck in the lower vibes and away from the union you crave.
I pray that the information shared in this article serves you and your union.
Wishing you magic and miracles on this amazing adventure with your beloved.
Lots of love,
P.s. When you resonate with my level of consciousness and the sample tastes I give you, look here to see how you can work with me one on one to do the work this journey asks of you and to come into union with your Divine counterpart.